I’ve thrown happiness away. Happiness is fleeting. It is relational, fickle, and unreliable.

I’m in the pursuit of joy. Joy shakes you down to your core. It is deep, godly, and sound.

For years my happiness had been contingent on something. My relationship status, my grades in school, how harmonious my friendships and family relationships were, how well-received I was, whether or not I nailed that triple turn in the end of the dance number…you get the idea.

But if you place contingencies on happiness, you will never truly reach it.

It is only when you abandon yourself in search of something greater that you truly find what you’re looking for. The human soul hungers for joy and contentment, but mistakes it as a lust for happiness and moments.

Happiness can be thrown to the wayside in the midst of a hectic day. But joy doesn’t budge. Joy comes from a deeper place, a reverent place, regardless of circumstances.

In my own life, my good intentions and search for happiness have been thwarted and thrown off track because of poor reactions to external stressors. But now, I package the outside world up in a box and push it out in breath. I look to my Creator for calm, quiet, and rest to take the place of loud, stressful, and distracted. As He always does, He whispers to my heart, “There will always be silence; it can always get quiet. But it might happen right after a noise overload. Just lean in, and be patient.”

I am in pursuit of contentment and joy. I am running toward it, boldly, leaving all desires for happiness aside. I have my eyes on something greater.


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